personal_development:guides_and_tips:summary_improving_growing_yourself [Carlos Sousa Wiki]

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====== Self Improvement and Growing ======

**Tags:** #selfimprovement #grow #develop #life #tips

**Last Reviewed:** 14/10/2024

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A summary of tips, processes and methods that I (try to) use to improve myself.

===== Getting Things Done / Stopping Procrastination =====

**Have a list of ToDo / Tasks**

   * Without a task list / to-do list, you will just get sucked in your own brain on what to do.
      * Build a list, be as specific as you can (eg "read 2 articles" instead of "read articles")
      * Once an entry is done, mark it as done, and save it so you can see how much you got done overtime.
      * If you looking for inspiration on how to organize your tasks, check for example [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Getting_Things_Done|Getting Things Done]]
      * Remember is not (mostly) about which method, is about having a system and following it
  * Shift the items on the list as much as you need, just get things done!

**Start the task NOW and work on it for 5 minutes. You can stop afterwards.**

  * Most of the times, you will notice that once you started, you don't want to stop.
  * If you do stop, it's okay, go though the next task you been putting on hold.

**Remember: is not a sprint, it's a marathon - consistency is THE key - Push the ball forward**

  * Instead of trying to push 5 hours, try to build the routine of doing a bit every day
  * Even if you don't feel like to, you should try to "push the ball forward"
  * Imagine you want to run but you don't feel like it because of your current situation. How will gaining weight help in making the situation better?
  * If you work 24 hours it's great. But if you work 1 hour each day instead, that's 9 weeks @ 40 hours each by End of the Year.

===== Learning Anything Takes 20 Hours =====

Originally a talk by Josh Kaufman

**Deconstruct the Skill **:

  * Break the skill down into manageable components.
  * Identify the specific aspects you want to learn and focus on the most essential parts first.

**Learn Enough to Self-Correct **:

  * Gather three to five quality resources (books, videos, courses) related to the skill.
  * Use these resources not as a procrastination tool but to gain just enough knowledge to begin practicing and correcting mistakes.

**Remove Barriers to Practice **:

  * Identify and eliminate distractions (like TV, internet, etc.) that hinder your practice time.
  * Utilize willpower to create a dedicated practice environment free from interruptions.

**Practice for at Least 20 Hours **:

  * Commit to dedicating at least 20 hours to practicing the skill over a month (roughly 45 minutes a day).
  * Acknowledge the “frustration barrier” and persevere past initial difficulties to benefit from your investment in practice.

===== Overcoming Social Anxiety / Talk to Anyone =====

Originally a talk by Prof. Jordan Peterson

**Shift Focus Away from Yourself **:

  * When in a social situation, consciously redirect your attention from your feelings of anxiety to observing others.
  * Pay close attention to people's behavior and reactions to help ease your internal focus.

**Engage with Individuals **:

  * In group settings, instead of speaking to the entire group, engage with one person at a time. Treat the group as a collection of individuals, not one large audience.
  * This approach allows you to communicate more comfortably and helps you feel more connected.

**Develop Social Skills **:

  * If you struggle with basic social skills, consider behavior therapy or social skills training to learn and practice effective social interactions.
  * This can help you develop the confidence needed to engage with others effectively.

**Pay Attention to Feedback **:

  * Cultivate the practice of actively listening to others and interpreting social cues. This will help you understand the dynamics of a conversation better.
  * Look for feedback, both verbal and non-verbal, to adjust your communication style accordingly.

**Embrace Discomfort **:

  * Acknowledge that feeling awkward is part of the learning process in social interactions. Accepting discomfort can help you push through anxiety instead of avoiding it.

**Learn from Criticism **:

  * Be open to receiving feedback, even if it comes from those you consider enemies or critics. This information can provide valuable insights for personal growth.
  * Reflect on accurate critiques to help you develop and strengthen your social abilities.